Monday, May 12, 2014

Sunday Portraits: A Calm and Quiet Heart


 
"Neither go back in fear and misgiving to the past, nor in anxiety and forecasting to the future; but lie quiet under His hand, having no will but His."
 
H.E. Manning

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Sunday Portraits || True Self

So, I have been practicing portraits with my "real" camera lately, which is a lot harder than I thought. I am use to the simplicity of my little iPhone camera and editing tools. I want to try to capture the same dark emotional portraits with my DSLR camera, and as I experiment I am hoping to share them here on Sundays.
 
I hope that as I share this new journey and passion you will be inspired. Happy Sunday!




 

"DEFINE yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is an illusion."  
~Brennan Manning


Thursday, May 1, 2014

4 Things I learned in April

Wow, can you believe it is the end of another month?? Time really doesn't slow down for anybody, but oh, how I wish it would! I continue to find my own way to slow down time with my camera.

Another attempt to slow down time or just simply to remember time I have been thinking of ending each month in a photogenic reflection and then I found out that Emily Freeman had a better idea, of course, she is pretty cool like that. She are a community of other life long students in this classroom we call life reflect on what they learned in the previous month.

Sounds good to me.



So what did I learn during the month of April?

1.) To fight hard for contentment. My husband started a new job with a new 40 days of see how long you can go with out breathing over time called a turn over. Whatever that means ;) It has been hard. I miss him. I don't like it and I have cried. like a baby. whined. like a baby. threw a fit. like a baby. And guess what? Nothing changed. He still had to get up and go to work. every. day. I soon learned to not just suck it up but to be content and even happy here. I still struggle on some days but He is faithful to remind me where my joy is hidden. So I keep fighting because it is worth it.


2.) That love inspires joyful obedience. As my husband has been working long and hard I have seen what love is and how it inspires us to live love. Watching my husband live love everyday for us with out complaining and with a smile I saw a picture of 1 John 4:19. We love, an action word, because He first loved us through the greatest act of love ever displayed. Love inspires. My husband love for us inspired me to love him in return, to be content here, to work hard here, to show him how much I love him and appreciate everything that he is doing for us.



3.) That sometimes your dreams are apart of your greatest fears. I am tired of watching, of waiting, of wondering... what if. I don't know exactly what my dreams are but I know that every thing I have a passion to pursue, that makes me come alive is just outside of my comfort zone and panic I can't do this zone. My fears hold me back from being who God created me to be and the work He set for me to do, the art He created me to be and do.

4.) I am tired of making excuses. Today is a new day, the perfect day to begin.

It's a whole new month today, the beginning of new adventures, blank pages, white canvases, and new lessons to be learned. I can't wait to see what the month of May brings.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Make Moves

There is a song that my sons loves and at first I wasn't a big fan of it until I listened to the words. It is a fast lyric Christian rap song, which I have nothing against. I love the ministry of Christian rappers like Lecrae, Trip Lee, and Flame but the song just didn't grab me. I decided to put it on my workout playlist. As I worked out at the gym and listened to the words of this fast and furious poet I was deeply inspired by his words and heart. Most of the lyrics are to fast my brain can not process them but these words hung in my heart and they continue to challenge me...

"I've got two choices. Make moves or make excuses. My biggest enemy is me." Andy Mineo



Life is short. We only get one chance to live love and live brave. I have two choices and I am tired of making excuses. It is time for me to get out of the way and make moves.

I am ready.

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”
― Mother Teresa

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

What if?


"Do one thing everyday that scares you." Eleanor Roosevelt

Honestly, just the thought of these words scare me. It scares me because I have a lot of things that scare me, things that I like to keep safely tucked away, but what if? What if I took these wise words and placed them at the core of my everyday? What if I believed in myself and took up this age old dare to live brave?


Who might I uncover? Who will I find buried under the rubble of fear?

I was talking to my husband the other day about my fear issues and I couldn't help but wonder. Who would I be if I didn't care what people thought of me, if I didn't live in that place of fear? If I could really be me, who would I be?


As I write this I wonder if I am brave enough to take the challenge, to be vulnerable, and to face my fears. I know that I am tired of just surviving and hiding from who I was created to be. As Emily Freeman would say, it is time to uncover the art I was made to live.

What do I have to loose? Better yet, what do I have to gain?

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Scared Brave

Everyday I think about writing here, about sharing what is on my heart, and everyday the words just don't come. I can not say for sure why they don't show up because my heart is so full of things to share. I believe a lot of it is fear. Fear of not saying it just right.

I am an over thinker, a perfectionist in a strange way. If you were to visit my home you wouldn't think I was a perfectionist but deep down I am. I am a mess, my home is usually a mess. We live here, I live here, but before you come over I do a very good job of cleaning up, of pretending. Can anyone relate?  If I can not find the perfect words to be said in the perfect way then I just choose not to say them at all or invite you over. ;)

Is that anyway to live?

Scared of being imperfect? Scared of someone seeing my mess, the real me? A beautiful mess?

Aren't we all?

Somewhere along the way... I lost my way. My passion for this blog was to be honest, to be real, to be openly imperfect. I don't want to give off the impression that I have things figured out and I definitely do not want to only share my life when I think I have the perfect words and images. I just want to be a real mom who shares her real struggles and victories with you. I want to be honest with myself.

And honestly I am scared and honestly I am tired of being scared. I just want to jump off the end of my comfort zone and believe in God and in myself.

Starting right now in this moment I am ready to live brave even though I am scared to death.

And so this is where I share with you again my one word for 2014, the real word. The word that I was to afraid to admit, to afraid to choose.

Brave.

Brave is the word that He gave me, the word that I tried to ignore, tried to cover up under good intentions.

 
This year I am looking forward to learning how to live brave even though I am scared even as I write this! ;)
 
(So please excuse my posts as I will not be as worried about perfecting them as about simply posting them, if you know what I mean)

Sunday, January 5, 2014

The art of being devoted



What does it mean to be devoted? 

I think what it means to me is believing that my daily callings are worthy of my time and energy. It means doing things I don't want to do because I have faith that they are for a greater unseen to me right now good. 

In Websters New World dictionary devoted is to set apart for a special use or service; to give up (oneself or ones time, energy, ect.) to some purpose, activity, or person. Set apart and give up stand out to me. If I truly want to be devoted in 2014 then I must learn the art of these two sets of words, unfinished sentences to be finished. 

Jim Elliot one of my heros of the faith once said, "Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." This life is short and we only get one chance to live it right. Live it on purpose. Set yourself apart for His will and give up your time and energy to be all there. Move. Get up and take the steps required to live fully committed and deeply devoted. 

This is my goal. To be set apart and to give up myself to be all here. 


What about you? 

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